Some of them are witty - but most of them are kind of true!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than
the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
Never, however, under any circumstances, should you take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
Simply Neutrals Tuesday
2 years ago